Thursday, September 15, 2011

How a naked kid saved the day

It's bath night. I've already put my little guy to bed, and now I'm having some nice quality time with my 5-year-old daughter while she scrubs and splashes.

"Why do we have belly buttons?"

"Look ma! I can blow bubbles!"

"I want daddy to come home from his business trip NOW."

"I'm a fish!"

Interrupting our titillating one-way conversation, our dog jogs into the bathroom. This is rather unusual for her, since she dislikes the tile floor. Then I see that familiar stare, butt waggle, and tail going 40 mph. It's the doggy potty dance.

"Do you need to go outside?"

The dog does a doggy nod.

I hate "breaking the rules" and leaving my daughter unattended in the bath, but the dog is desperate. I tell me daughter I'LL BE RIGHT BACK (futile words). I'll just let the dog outside quick, then come back to check on my daughter (then go back to get the dog and come back upstairs... like my own little relay race... fun!).

I hurry downstairs, and let the dog out through the back sliding door. We have a fenced back yard, which is fortunate since our dog would love to wander the neighborhood given the chance. As the dog dashes for her favorite pee spot, I notice that the gate is wide open.

Crap.

I run outside in my socks, and close the gate. Then I realize my fatal error. We have a trick sliding door. If you slam it closed, the latch slips down and LOCKS.

Double crap.

I'm now locked outside with my dog, while my two children -- one asleep, one naked in the bath -- are inside. Both of the other exterior doors are, of course, also locked.

Holy crap.

And my husband is hundreds of miles away out of town.

Crappity crap.

I debate what to do. I can go to a neighbor's house, and ask them to call my parents or a friend that has a key to my house, or I can start banging on the door like a crazed woman and hope my 5-year-old hears me.

I vote for the crazed woman option.

After a few minutes (it felt like 20 minutes, but it was probably 3 or 4), I spot my naked 5-year-old wandering down the stairs. She sees me, and opens the sliding door.

"Why are you outside momma?"

She was not frightened, but a little confused about why I was so panicked. She said she heard the racket from the bath, and wondered what was taking me so long. I praised her up and down for coming downstairs. She was officially the hero for the day.

Our bath time hero.

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The story was prompted by Mama Kat's writing workshop. The prompt was "Locked out."


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