Thursday, July 14, 2011

The Working Mom and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Working Mom fell asleep exhausted with her laptop on, and now her laptop battery is dead and when she got out of bed this morning she stepped in cat puke and then she dribbled toothpaste on her good blouse while brushing her teeth and dressing her Son at the same time and she could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.

Then she finds her daughter screaming in the kitchen because there isn’t any Lunchables left, and mom promised she would buy more, and now Daughter is going to starve and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich will not do because some kids are allergic, and Daughter will have to wash her hands after lunch if she touches peanuts and she hates doing that. Terrible, horrible day.

No sooner than the lunch catastrophe is thwarted with a turkey and cheese sandwich, Son comes downstairs half naked, stating that he will not be wearing a shirt today because shirts are hot not cool. Son hates shirts, and will no longer be caught dead in them. Working Mom wants to know why it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day?

Daddy comes downstairs with Son's shirt in hand. Working Mom tries to tune out the screams of terror as Daddy tackles Son and forces on a shirt. Working Mom thinks about moving to Hawaii. By herself.

One glance at the clock, and the next no-good thing is obvious: this family is running late. Everyone piles into cars, and is handed granola bars because there is no time to sit down to have breakfast today, but no one likes the flavor they got.

Working Mom hopes to leave the no good, very bad day at home.

Working Mom arrives at her desk to realize she left her laptop at home on her bed (with the dead battery.) And she has a 9 a.m. meeting and that meeting is with her boss. As Working Mom goes back into her car, she realizes she is going to have a terrible, horrible day all day long.



On her drive to work -- for the second time -- Working Mom gets a call from Son's preschool. Son has a fever, and needs to be picked up. Working Mom tries to call Daddy so that she could still meet with her boss, and have the meeting she already had to postpone once (not that she really wanted to meet with her boss, but it seemed like the right thing to do), but Daddy does not answer his phone. While driving to her Son's preschool, Working Mom wonders if she could drive all the way to Hawaii.

Working Mom finds her son playing in his classroom, with no sign of illness, but his teacher hands over the school policy -- kids with fevers are not allowed to return to school for at least 24 hours. Working Mom felt Son's head, and he feels fine. Teacher shows her thermometer with the numbers 99.2 clear as day. Son asks on the way walking out of preschool if they could go to McDonald's for lunch because he is "sick." Could this very bad day get any worse?

At home, Working Mom sets up her laptop (with a power cord, of course) and then starts responding to e-mails, and making phone calls, and doing other very-very-important-work-things and Son is not happy at all because Son wants to play with mommy.

"When will you be done Mommy?"

"How many more meetings Mommy?"

"Will you play with me NOW Mommy?"

Working Mom adds some mommy guilt to her terrible, horrible, very bad day.

Working Mom tries to make Son happy with some Mac and Cheese for lunch, but it is too hot and it is not the kind from the box and it tastes icky and he is not going to eat it. Not one bite. Working Mom wants to throw the Mac and Cheese all the way to Hawaii.

Son does not want to take his nap in the afternoon because he wants to watch his favorite movie instead, and couldn't he watch it because he is sick? Working Mom didn't really think Son is sick at all, but lets him watch the favorite movie anyway, which only lasted ten minutes before Son wants a different favorite movie.

By 3 p.m., Working Mom is ready for a nap, but she suddenly remembers Daughter has a Program at school and parents are supposed to bring in a something-the-kids-will-love-but-no-peanuts-and-no-tree-nuts-please! treat. But Working Mom did not bake a treat and does not have any time now to make something.

Working Mom runs to the store with Son, and looks for a treat, but everything says in small print "may contain nuts, or may have been made near nuts." Working Mom finally buys some Twizzlers, and runs back out of the store.

At Daughter's school Program, all the Perfect Moms have made beautiful cupcakes and cookies from scratch, so Working Mom slides her Twizzlers onto the table, hoping no one will notice but of course someone does. Working Mom wishes she was in Hawaii RIGHT NOW.

Working Mom misses Daughter's program because Son suddenly decides he really is sick, and pukes on Working Mom's purse. Son and Working Mom spend the rest of the Program in the restroom cleaning up Son, the purse, and everything else with puke. Working Mom wants this horrible, very bad day to end.

When they get home from the Program, Daughter is unhappy because she did not see Mom in the audience, and Son is crying because his tummy hurts and his shirt is messy and mommy won’t let him take it off and he hates shirts anyway.

Then Daddy walks in the door and asks "How was your day?"

Working Mom doesn't answer and just hands the sick boy to Daddy, and says, "I'm going to Hawaii."

------------------------------------------------

This post was prompted by Mama Kat's writing post "a bad day."

*This day is fiction, but many of the events, or some approximation of them, have happened to me...

**I would really like to go to Hawaii RIGHT NOW.

Mama’s Losin’ It

10 comments:

Rochelle@AFamilyofLooneys said...

I am sorry you had a crappy day. I hope tomorrow is better.

Heligirl said...

Wow, you've only had one comment to this?!? Honey, what a GREAT piece of writing. You did an excellent job and I totally felt your frustration, as well as the original story which is one of my favorites from when I was little. My DD just pulled it off the shelf for me to read this week and I was PSYCHED. Seriously, girl, very well written. I hope Kat focuses on yours next week!

Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Great spin on the prompt. I LOVE that book!

Jennifer said...

Fantastic! I was a bit relieved to hear at the end that this particular day was fiction...it made it ok to laugh :) I know it can't be far off from real days, because I have had them too!

Amo said...

This was hilarious and definitely worth commenting on! So funny! I have felt this way many many days! Loved it! I found you on Mama Kat's Workshop!

Diane said...

Girl, you totally deserve a solo Hawaiian vacation after that terrible, horrible, no good, very BAD day!

Awesome post!

gin said...

Working mamas unite! This post is amazing...I laughed and also came very close to crying. Great writing.

Missus Wookie said...

I empathise, great writing - and oooh yeah Hawaii sounds soo good right now!

Mama Kat said...

HAWAII HERE WE COME!! I'm right there with ya!

Jake Phillips said...

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