Monday, June 20, 2011

Living in Ikea Land

When I mention my actual hometown to another mom (rather than just saying "I'm from metro Detroit") there's about a 50/50 chance they'll say "Ooooooo... that's where the Ikea is.  You are sooooo lucky!"

Yep.  I'm soooo lucky that I have to avoid my town's main highway exit at all costs. 

So, I broke down over the weekend, and drove the whopping 5 miles to the Swedish mecca of consumerism.  I went to Ikea.  Since it opened in my hometown about 5 years ago, I've only gone a handful of times -- the last time was a couple of years ago.  Suburban chic Ikeans are gasping everywhere.

Now... I have an strong appreciation of the Ikea brand and the effort that goes into creating their products -- well designed, simple products at a very inexpensive price.  The Ikea Corporation should be admired for their innovation and marketing skills. 

However.

I can't stand going to Ikea.

Not only is it crowded, but it is crowded with those people.  Cult Ikeans.

...I drove in, and I parked next to a SMART car from Ohio and a BMW from Ontario.  Ahem.



I enter the store, and have to weave around all the people who have stopped.  Just stopped.  In the lobby -- there is no products here, but they are already being Ikea-fied by the greeters.  As the Ikea sheep are directed up the escalator to the second floor -- the "showcase" floor -- I walk right past to the hidden doors that lead directly to the first floor where the merchandise really is.  Bahhhh....

I dodge the sheep left and right as they "ooh" and "ahh." I use my advanced rat-in-maze training to navigate the most a-mazingly planned store ever (pun intended).


As I make my way through the labyrinth, I hear Ikeans exclaim ...
  • I love all this organizing stuff!
  • Look at this hamper!  It has handles!  That will make it so much easier for me to bring home my *adult son's* laundry!
  • Husband with zombie look:  "What about this lamp?"  Wife:  "Do you like it?"  Husband:  "No, but...."
  • Mmmm.  Meatballs.



Fortunately, I left the store in a little over an hour, and with only a few more items than I planned.  Unfortunately, I got home, and my daughter asked with bright eyes and glee, "Do they have that desk lamp in PINK???"  (Of course they do... it's IKEA.).  I might be breaking my habits and visit Ikea twice in the same year. Ugh.


The Not-So-Secret Confessions of a First Time Mom


5 comments:

Missus Wookie said...

When my brother set up home we bought him a load of IVAR and STEN and took it to the new place and set it up. About eighteen months later he rang and said, "Remember that stuff you bought I rang to say THANK YOU!" I reminded him he had already done that...

"Yeah, but then I'd not been to IKEA. Now I have and appreciate it even more!" :)

We go sneak in the back way, grab what we want and leave fast. Although it is the cheapest place to eat so we often eat there.

Missus Wookie said...

Oh and have you heard this? Jonathan Coulton's IKEA song?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyeynCnXMoo

Kristal said...

I have never been to IKEA *gasp*...

Glad you were able to get "in and out", sorta...

Grace said...

My daughter love IKEA too but I've never been there. I have visited their online store, does that count?
I'm visiting you from Mom Blog Monday. Now following via GFC.
http://www.blessedelements.com/goinggreen

CeCe said...

I've driven past the Ikea in IL where I-290 meets I-90 and I've yet to stop. I have friends who spend entire days there. I just can't bring myself to do it yet.

I'm a sucker for marketing and I'm worried for myself. But one day I will brave it. One day.

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