1. When pigs fly I can eat bacon for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
2. "Assistant attorney general Andrew Shirvell was fired Monday for using his work hours to make attacks on an openly gay student leader [Chris Armstrong] at the University of Michigan, violating office policies, engaging in borderline stalking behavior and lying to investigators." Source: Detroit Free Press
...Mr. Shirvell was fired by his very conservative, Republican boss who -- after reviewing the facts of the case -- realized his employee was going way beyond First Amendment free speech rights and was stalking this young college student.
...And yet Mr. Shirvell -- a 30-something "grown-up" -- still claims his actions -- which included hiding in the bushes by Mr. Armstrong's house at the wee hours of the morning and videotaping a college party -- are protected free speech about uncovering Mr. Armstrong's hidden"homosexual political agenda."
3. Call me crazy, but I think this Mr. Shirvell has some serious issues. I recommend calling a shrink ASAP!
. J.D.: Wanna go out tonight? Catch a movie? Miniature golf?
Veronica Sawyer: I was thinking more along the lines of slitting Heather Duke's wrists open, making it look like suicide.
J.D.: Ah, now you're talking. I can be up for that. I've already started underlining meaningful passages in her copy of Moby Dick, if you know what I mean.
5. The most entertaining person in my life is a trick question because anyone I put down would eliminate all the other entertaining people in my life.
6. I'm ready to call it a day -- who's next?
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to playing glo golf with my hubby, tomorrow my plans include yoga and Sunday, I want to sleep in!