I personally do not think there is a right answer here. There are so many factors that go into this decision, that whatever a woman decides if fine. I think that age, career status, and cultural background all play important roles in this decision.
Ethnic alphabet soup
|Pho. Yum. If that's what our names look like mixed together, I'll take it!|
At the same time, the hyphenation option is not something I was interested in. Finnish + Vietnamese surname hyphenation? No one can pronounce my maiden name. Few can pronounce my husband's name. Why would I concatenate them? Gah!
Keeping my name, but not
What to do, what to do. So... I took my maiden name as my middle name. While this meant I lost my given middle name, I figured that I know my given middle name, so that's fine if the legal world deletes it. Whenever I feel like writing out my full name including my maiden-now-middle name, I can. Otherwise, I can just go with my married name.
Meet the parents
I had figured out most of this plan before meeting my father-in-law to-be in early 1997. I admit, I was a bit nervous. Would he like me? Would he only speak in Vietnamese? Would he gasp and say "No, son! You may not marry this white girl!"
Fortunately, he was very kind.
However, the first question he asked me was "Are you going to take his name?"
"Yes" I replied.
It was the right answer. It's good to start off on the right foot with your in-laws.
Did you take your husband's name? What lead to your decision?