As I started to write these down, I realized that I don't just have things that I say to my kids. We have mini-rote conversations. It's like our own little spoken rituals.
1: Momma gets rhetorical
Momma: "How many things can I do at once?"
Kid: "one. But..."
Both my kids know the correct answer. I cannot multitask. When the barrage of requests and questions start, I blurt this out.
2: Avoiding multiple trips up and down the stairs
Momma or Daddy: "Who needs clothes?" Common question asked from the top of the stairs. The kids are already downstairs watching TV. Are they clothed or still in PJ's?
Zero to two kids: "Me!" Followed by a parent gathering clothes as needed.
Momma or Daddy: "Here you go!" Tossing of clothes from the top of the stairs.
Kids: "Thanks!"3: Poop
Momma: "Where are you supposed to poop?" Asked while changing my son's poopy diaper.
Son: "In the potty."
Momma: "Where did you poop?"
Son: "In my diaper."
He looks at me with that mischievous smile. We have been struggling with getting our son to do #2 in the potty for 6 months. He wears underwear all day -- and stays dry. We put him in a diaper at night because he can't hold it all night (his bladder is the size of a pea). Literally 5 minutes after he gets the diaper on, he poops. We repeat this conversation every night. For the last 2 months, he has not received a treat after dinner because he refuses to poop in the potty.4: Bedtime threats
Momma: "...or no stories!" The standard threat to get my son to get moving to bed faster. Usually works like a charm.
5: Good night
Momma: "Good night sweetie."
Son: "Good night momma."
Momma: "I love you."
Son: "I love you momma."
Momma: "Don't call downstairs asking for anything else, OK?"
Son: "Ok, momma. I won't. Can I play in my bed?"
Momma: "5 minutes."
Son: "Ok. I'll count to 5."
I walk back downstairs to read a book with my daughter. Within 5 minutes: