Monday, May 10, 2010

Hubby 2.0

My husband attended a conference in Seattle all of last week. I was less than enthralled about it because that left me and the 2 kids to fend for ourselves. Not only was I going to have to take out the trash, but there would be more of "Where's daddy?" and "When is daddy coming home?". I already have to hear these questions enough; I was not looking forward to being bombarded.

As it turns out, I did not get asked these questions anymore than the average week. Why? Well, my husband has gotten into some bad habits of coming home later and later, and when he is home the work is not put away. The cell phone is perpetually out, and the laptop is set up on the counter. So, though he was out of town for the entire week, the kids seemed to miss him only about as much as the average week.

Why am I telling you these less than endearing things about my husband? Because he has decided to change. While at this conference, he took a training called the Corporate Athlete course (free plug!), and it caused him to really take a look at his mission (goals) in life.  He decided he needed to make some adjustments, and I'm so proud.

I'm not going to repeat his mission and story verbatim, but what I took from it is that he wants to be the best, engaged husband and father he can be.  He has seen that he's been a bit selfish, and he's ready to change.  I think it takes tremendous courage to look at yourself in the mirror so honestly.  We are calling his new transformation John 2.0.  I can't wait to see my upgraded hubby in action!

Among the list of his new habits, he plans take better care of himself through exercise and diet, to be home by 6pm, put the cell phone away (no checking email while the kids are awake), include his family in his hobbies, and turn off the TV when we are having conversations.  Each one is a little thing -- but they add up to a man who is HOME when he is home.

I don't want to make this sound like I had a horrible husband.  Not at all.  I had a wonderful, loving husband who brought home flowers to his adoring wife for no reason at all.  A responsible husband that did the laundry every week.  A loving father who played on the floor with his kids. 

But, a man who can look at his faults -- really look at them -- and make a decision to change?  That is a man with courage.  That is a man I love with all my heart.  I love you sweetie!

BTW: Published with permission from the Hubby. :)


Ali said...

I think you and your husband maybe have shared some conversations that my husband and I have had on many occasions.

We often debate the "appropriate use of technology" -- doesn't that make me sound like such a teacher? I think technology is great, but I'm also a pretty big fan of having a "present" husband.

I hope things go well for your family's upgrade!

kt moxie said...

I think I mostly mastered "the stare" when he checked his phone for the umteenth time...

I LOVE technology, too. I'm a HUGE geek, and work in IT. But it has its place. It should be used to enhance relationships, not impede them.

For the Love of Naps - Sarah said...

Wonderful courage post. You are a lucky gal to have a husband who has realized this before it is too late. Even if he makes just a couple small changes it will make a difference. I am lucky to have a husband who gives my boys his best when he walks in the door.

Cheer him on and give him the freedom to be dad...I notice I keep up my mommy rules the roost attitude sometimes too long into his arrival and it sucks some of the daddy energy out of the evening.

dramaformama said...

If only all of our husbands had a mission like this! I could make a list of things for him to work on! Being HOME when he's home would be on the top of the list. I agree, it takes a ton of courage to look honestly at ourselves and make changes to better ourselves. I try to do that every New Years... doesn't always work though.

I wish you and your husband all the best in John 2.0 - keep us posted!

Corinne said...

That's an amazing goal! It definitely does take courage to put family and your health (or are they intertwined? hmm...) first and leave work at work and focus on what the moment is all about!

a li'l bit squishy said...

Cheers to the new and improved John 2.0. We can all benefit from a little self reflection, especially the kind that leads to self improvement. Courageous? Most certainly!!

Jen said...

I LOVE this. And, John 2.0? I love that there's a sense of humor involved in the process. Good for you and your husband, and ... your KIDS.

Amber said...

Reading this made warmed my heart. When husbands (and fathers) make a special effort to change certain things it always makes me tear up.

Go John 2.0!

Christine said...

So great...not sure it's easy for most men to do that. Heck, I'm not sure it would be easy for me to do that.

Rudri said...

It is always hard to make a change. Hope you enjoy the new and improved husband.

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